If you just got engaged and are considering Paris as a destination wedding site, take a deep breath and consider your theme first: the more details to your theme, the more time you probably need in your timeline.
Raph & John’s wedding reception took place at the Intercontinental Le Grand Hotel in Paris. Lighting is an often overlooked element when planning an event, but lighting helps set the tone even more than color. What is a beautiful color without proper lighting to view it by?
Planning a destination wedding in Paris can be quick or elaborate, depending on what you want. Ask yourself: How do you envision your dream wedding in Paris? Do you want a separate venue for the wedding and reception? A ceremony outside the Eiffel Tower during spring with tourists walking by? In a candle-lit chapel filled with flowers and history? Or perhaps a ceremony and reception on a boat at dusk basking in the glow of the Seine River? All of these questions speak to your theme, and your theme will inform your timeline — how much time you need to pull it all together.
What are the components of a wedding theme? In my view, they are: Time of year, time of day, location, formality, colors, food, music, flowers, lighting (artificial/natural). If all you want is an outside ceremony on the grounds of Notre Dame with a few close friends and family as witnesses, that can easily be a piece of cake (pun intended) to plan; of course, you can’t rent space outside national monuments (or inside, for that matter), so tourists walking by being their natural selves will be part of the charm. But if you want a ceremony and reception indoors in popular venues, you have to plan for it. Yes, I know: Wedding Planning 101. But in the excitement of getting engaged, it can be hard to remember that many other newly-engaged couples are looking to book the same venues you want. This is why I believe that after asking family and friends for their (un)availability dates to travel to Paris within the next 18 months, booking the ceremony and reception venues should be first on your list.
Here are a few secrets of event planners: You work backwards from the date of the event to coordinate the details of any event, and you never give away your “drop dead date” – the date you need to give your confirmed guest number to the caterer, for example. Instead, ask people you’re inviting to respond by ‘x’ date + 1 week, to give yourself an additional week to contact anyone who hasn’t responded by your drop dead date. This also comes into play when ordering printed material, such as invitations: If you know you want to mail your invitations by a given date, and it takes a printer three weeks to print invitations, then give them a proof at least six weeks in advance; that way, if they’re not printed correctly the first go-around, you can still make your mail-by date.
Just a reminder: Foreigners can’t legally marry in France unless they’ve established temporary residency by living near the wedding locale for 40 consecutive days and can offer proof of this (lease, utility bill) to the city hall. For this series, I’m assuming that you will have a local wedding and possibly a reception before you travel to Paris for your wedding and reception there.
You might have to plan 18 months out if your Paris ceremony venue or reception venue is particularly popular.
As soon as possible, decide on an ideal date or time of year. Do an internet search to understand weather, holidays, and festivals for your selected time of year. Paris all but shuts down during the month of August (they take their vacation time seriously!), and French people don’t generally plan weddings from July 15 – August 31. (Keep in mind July 14 is Bastille Day.)
12 months before
*Set your wedding budget.
*Write up a guest list and a preliminary wedding party attendant list.
*Ask significant people (family, guest list and preliminary wedding party) for (un)availability dates around the time you would like to marry in Paris.
*Visit Paris locations if at all possible to see them as they will be for your wedding.
*Book the ceremony and reception venues.
*Hire a wedding planner if you so desire.
*Research flights to Paris for wedding date.
*Consider creating a wedding website as a communication tool (to upload the program, how to get to the hotel, ceremony venue and reception venue). I would probably also set up a private group on Facebook.
10 months before
*Finalize wedding party attendants.
*Finalize local ceremony date, location, and reception venue if applicable.
*Book all remaining aspects of your theme (flowers, music, food if you need your own caterer).
*Book your photographer.
*Book your “get-away” car or other vehicle.
*Book your flight to Paris with travel insurance.
*Reserve hotel block for you and your guests.
8 months before
*Get your passports up to date (don’t wait!).
*Start dress shopping, keeping in mind the time of year for your wedding.
*Select your officiant for your Paris wedding and your local wedding.
*Register.
6 months before
*Select your dress or hire a dressmaker to create a custom wedding dress.
*Select shoes, hairstyle, makeup, etc. for the day.
*Select attire for bridal attendants and order.
*Select attire for groom and groomsmen and order.
*Select and purchase wedding rings.
*Select and order invitations and other printed material (program, save-the-date cards, menu), and be sure to order 20% extra for invitations and save-the-date cards for mistakes you make while addressing them, and for late additions.
*Send save-the-date cards with a reminder to get passports up to date as soon as they are printed.
4 months before
*Mail invitations. While an RSVP date of 4 weeks prior to the wedding date is ideal, you have to consider first when the reception venue requires a final count for the reception. If you have to give a final count 4 weeks prior, give yourself at least an additional week for the RSVP date (5 weeks prior) in order to have time to contact anyone who hasn’t RSVP’d. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand that RSPV means “repondez, s’il vous-plait” (respond, please, in French); some seem to think it means “respond if you feel like it.”
*Plan the rehearsal dinner.
*Write your own vows if that is your plan.
*Finalize each ceremony with its respective officiant.
*Shop for local ceremony attire for you and your wedding party.
2 months before
*Confirm delivery of all wedding party attire.
*Ask your dressmaker for advice on how to transport or pack your wedding attire, and whether you can use your own travel steamer to get the wrinkles out.
*Apply for a marriage license.
*Make 2 lists: 1) What you need to take with you on the plane, and 2) what you need to overnight to the hotel. NOTE: I recommend that you overnight EVERYTHING you need for your wedding day (dresses, tuxes, shoes, etc., and several travel steamers). Have it arrive before you get to Paris and pay for an extra night or two (or more) for your hotel room so it can be stored safely. You can’t possibly carry everything you need in carry-on luggage, and what would you do if the airline lost your suitcase with your wedding dress?
6 weeks before
*Contact those who haven’t RSVP’d.
*Shop for welcome bags and their contents to be put in guests’ rooms if applicable.
4 weeks before
*Provide a final head count for your hotel and/or caterer.
*Have your final dress fitting.
*Hold local (legal) wedding and reception.
4 days before
*Overnight wedding attire, printed material, and welcome bags.
*Get manicure/pedicure for you and your bridesmaids.
3 days before
*Depart for Paris!
Upon arrival in Paris
*Unpack wedding attire and hang up.
*Unpack programs to have ready.
*Enjoy your first night in Paris with your fiance.
1 day before
*Steam all wedding attire with your travel steamers.
*Deliver programs to wedding ceremony venue if applicable.
*Rehearse ceremony with wedding party and officiant.
*Finalize shots with photographer.
*Have rehearsal dinner.
Wedding Day
Enjoy!
I will be featuring photos of Raph & John’s wedding in Paris for this series (see above). I want to make it clear that I do not know this couple: I selected their photos from an album on Flickr because I love their theme and the photos are available for use under the CCBY 2.0 license. If I married in Paris, I would want a theme somewhat similar to theirs–in terms of colors and formality–though probably on a boat on the Seine River. At night. With all the lights of Paris sparkling around me, my groom, and my guests. That’s just me.
Au revoir!
Image of Raph & John’s wedding reception (#596) by Agence Tophos, Flickr, CCBY 2.0.